Dear Journal - Day 149 on Earth
I honestly do not even know where to start journal. So much
has happened since we last spoke! I took my first trip out of town, that’s
right I am now a traveler! We spent the weekend in a faraway land called ‘Nebraska’.
They are very serious about their corn over there. I wore a big pink dress and
mommy put a bow on my head, she was not getting the hint that I did not like
the dress when I kept spitting up all over it. I keep thinking that woman will
learn, but so far she keeps ignoring my blatant hints. After sitting down in
the biggest room I had ever been in with a ton of people, this very beautiful
lady wearing this big white dress showed up out of nowhere! Now journal, you
and I both know I am not the emotional type, but I have to say even this made
me tear up a little bit. Anyway, I tried to tell her she looked beautiful but
mommy and daddy kept trying to keep me quiet! Not sure what that was all about,
it seemed like an important event and I wanted the whole room to hear my
opinion! Rude.
After what seemed like a very long time, we left the big
room and went to an even bigger room full of different lights, colors and loud
music! Everyone kept coming up to me and telling me I looked beautiful. I
politely smiled and pretended like I didn’t already know that. There were so
many people I had never met before! I was beginning to think the whole party
was for me, until mommy took me to see the beautiful lady in the white dress
and I realized that the party was for her! Turns out journal we went to a ‘wedding’.
After what I saw I can safely conclude that a wedding is a big party with lots
of delicious food, cake, silly dancing and pretty dresses. Daddy told me that I
was not allowed to have a wedding for at least another 35 years. Journal, this
man is going to deprive me of delicious cake and dancing for another 12,775 DAYS.
What in the day old crusted bottle is that all about?
When we came home after our exciting trip, I got a nice long
bath and slept happily in my crib! When I woke up the next morning mommy had
such a great surprise for me! We went out for breakfast with my BFF Ellison who
was finally home from Ireland! I was so excited that I accidentally fell asleep
at the restaurant. Oops. But then Ellison and her mommy came over and we all
went on a long walk! It was such a fun day…then I started to suspect that mommy
was up to something and as always journal, I was right. The next morning was
nothing like I had ever experienced…
Journal, you know how for the past 60 days my Auntie has
been coming over to spend the day with me at my house? Well I was in for a rude
awakening Tuesday morning when she didn’t show up.
The day started out normal, I woke mommy and daddy up with my
beautiful voice and they gave me the same old bottle. At any moment I was
expecting my Auntie to walk in through the door and she didn’t. Instead mommy
and daddy put me in my traveling throne or as the other babies call it, the car
seat. Were we taking another trip? Were we going to the store that mommy has an
unhealthy obsession with? (It’s called ‘Target’ and trust me journal for your sake,
I’ll save this topic for another day), were we going to another restaurant where
I watched mommy and daddy eat?
No. None of the above mentioned scenarios happened journal.
You know what did happen? Mommy and daddy took me to daycare. What is daycare
you ask? Well after spending the last four days there, I can only describe it
as a place with lots of toys and other tiny human beings. I was slightly
confused on Day 1, especially since mommy cried the entire time we were on our
way there. But let’s get real, that is not surprising…that woman is a bit
emotional.
I thought the whole daycare situation was only a one day
thing, but nope…I got the hint after today. But apparently mommy didn’t because
she was still getting emotional this morning too! Here’s to hoping she gets
over her weird attachment to me by next week. I’m making some friends at
daycare and I can’t let them see her crying over me! How embarrassing.
Journal, I have found a very nice benefit to being at
daycare. The older kids are teaching me their ways. I am studying their every
move, watching them play, learning their tricks. As I grow stronger and bigger
every day, I will soon be able to take what I have learned and use it to mold
mommy and daddy into doing everything I want. They are understanding my
routine, and I need to change it quickly so they do not adapt to my behavior. I
have to constantly keep them on their toes!
But alas, my desire for household domination must wait. It
is time to spend the next hour kicking the furry beast when he gets near me. We
have come to an agreement, he allows me to pull his hair and grab at his face
and I allow him to occasionally sniff my crap filled diaper. Not sure who is
getting the better end of the deal here, I think it is him since he too gets
the opportunity to bask in my awesomeness.
Until next time,
Dahlia
