Dear Journal - Day 62 on this earth
I have finally figured it out! My parents are Prince William and
the beautiful Duchess Kate. I say this because everyone keeps calling me
'Princess', they are constantly spoiling me and I literally get everything that
I want...so this can clearly only mean that I am Royalty. William and Kate are
humble people, they insist I call them 'mommy' and 'daddy'.
Yesterday was rough, the giants...excuse me, mommy and daddy,
took me to the 'doctor’s office'. I'm not sure why
they call it that, they should really consider renaming it the 'torture
office'. Daddy held me while this stranger, who apparently wasn't aware of my
royalty status, stabbed me with the world’s largest needles. My screams weren't
loud enough to get her to stop and daddy just let it happen! For this I will
spend the next 2-3 years coming up with a revenge plan. Let’s just say no
public place will ever be safe of my temper tantrums.
I continue to keep mommy and daddy up at
night, not sure what this 'sleeping through the night' thing they keep talking
about is but let’s get real...that's not happening. Just for giggles, I like to
trick them into thinking it'll happen and then wake up at 4:00am screaming for
attention. Ha! Suckers.
Every time I start to act mad
the mommy and daddy immediately pick me up, change me or feed me! I swear I
could get used to this kind of treatment. I will be milking this for as long as
I possibly can. Their level of obsession is becoming somewhat concerning...they
clearly have no lives other than me. Right now, I will accept it...we'll talk
again about this obsession in 13-16 years.
Well journal, it's almost time
to eat again. I need to warm up my lungs and prepare for my feed me scream.
Until next time,
Dahlia
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