Day 118

Dear Journal – Day 118 on earth

I believe it was the great Gerber baby that once said, “Don’t forget your bib”. I always questioned the wisdom of those words, wondering what she meant by it. Well journal, after soaking through three separate tops and impressively one pair of pants today I think I can confirm what those words truly mean. As of late, I can’t seem to control the excessive amount of liquid coming out of my mouth. Mommy calls it ‘drool’, I call it – hilarious. I especially like it when daddy holds me up high in his arms because I like to lean over and watch the drool fall to the ground. I hope mommy and daddy know I only do this so the furry beast gets a little treat. If he can lick my face, I don’t see why I can’t return the favor in the same way!

I’ll be turning 120 days old on Friday or ‘4 months old’ as mommy likes to say. Not sure what this month thing is but she seems to be excited about it! Although…come to think of it, that’s really not surprising because that woman gets excited about everything! Like the other day, I ALMOST mastered the rolling over situation! Seriously, I was SO close journal and mommy got so excited she scared me! HELLOOOOOO who squeals when someone is attempting to conquer such a monumental accomplishment! Sigh. Well journal, as you can assume I did not happen to roll over.

Soon journal, I can feel it…it will happen soon…

Speaking of me doing awesome things with my life journal, I’ve recently taken it upon myself to start grabbing things. Let me be a little bit more specific, I have started to grab hair. Chunks of hair. Lots of hair. I figure if mommy wants to squeal, I’ll give her something to squeal about! I try to grab my auntie’s hair, but she just laughs and lets me. I like that woman, she gets me.

Ah, do you hear that journal? It’s the sound of a warm bottle being made! I’m going to leave you with some more wise words I recently heard, a phrase that I hear mommy say quite frequently before her dinner time – ‘GET IN MA BELLY’.

Until next time,

Dahlia

Day 110

Dear Journal – Day 110 on Earth

This morning I woke up, sat on the back deck and watched the sunrise. I contemplated the meaning of life while listening to Mozart. HAHA, just kidding journal. I woke up with dried up slobber around my mouth, screamed until the giants came to get me, and then I finished my bottle in a record breaking time of 17 minutes. I swear, I can scream all day, projectile vomit, and literally poop everywhere and mommy and daddy STILL think I’m the cutest thing there ever was. I recently saw my reflection in the mirror and I totally get it now. I am seriously adorable. If I could figure it out somehow, I would pinch my own cheeks.

But enough about my good looks, let’s talk about how much life has changed since my last update. I am happy to announce that I have finally figured out the hand in mouth situation. I realized I needed to ungrasp my thumb in order to get better suction. Whoa. Life changing. Who needs a binky when you have one attached to your body? I keep trying to get mommy and daddy to try my thumb to see what they are missing out on, but they will not open their mouths when I try and stick my hands in them! Clearly it’s their loss!

I did take up the hobby of trying to ‘roll over’ as I mentioned in my last post. I underestimated how complicated that was going to be. First off, the whole part of being on my stomach is a serious issue. Does anyone actually enjoy that? I recently overheard mommy talk about how much she “hated” something called ‘exercising’, she seemed very passionate about it because she kept repeating the word ‘hate’. I can only assume that hate is a strong word and used to describe something uncomfortable. So I will say this, I HATE BEING ON MY STOMACH. I would rather sit through an episode of that awful cartoon ‘Caillou’. Trust me journal…that is saying a lot.

Sigh. But like mommy, I will continue to try because now I am just determined to figure out this rolling over situation. Also like mommy, I will continue to cry while doing this activity that I hate so much. Once I master it though, I have a feeling there will be no stopping me! I will become a rolling machine! There’s a corner of the living room that looks intriguing, I must find a way to get to it and I have a feeling that rolling there will be my only option.

Oh crap filled diaper, is it 10:00pm already? Between playing, eating, and napping I feel like my days are just going by too fast! I rarely have any time to play tricks and games on mommy and daddy. Although journal, my latest game is quite hilarious. I recently started to notice that every time I would smile or laugh, mommy would place this object in front of me. She would say things like ‘smile for mommy’ or ‘smile for the camera’. Journal, this is great, you’re going to love this. Now when she brings the object out and puts it in front of me, I stop everything that I am doing and just stare at it. Then after a few minutes when she puts it away…I start being absolutely adorable again. HA! Seriously. It’s fantastic. If there is anything I have learned these past few months on earth it’s that I am one hilarious baby.

Well journal, as always it has been a pleasure. I must go now, being this cute and hilarious seriously takes a toll on one’s self. I need to rest up for my morning bottle on the deck to watch the sunrise. Hahaha, again just kidding. I’m going to rest up so I can wake up and leave a massive surprise in my diaper for daddy. What can I say journal, I have a big heart and truly love to give and share with others.

Until next time,

Dahlia

Day 98

Dear Journal - Day 98 on earth

Journal I am 2 days away from being 100 days old. Whoa. When did I get so old? Where did the time go? Just yesterday I was in size 0 diapers, sleeping my days away, enjoying life as a newborn. Now? I'm sitting here in my size 2 diapers, taking only 2-3 hours worth of naps a day. I feel so mature! I have this overwhelming desire to start taking my bottle on the back deck watching the sunrise in the mornings. I can't believe I'm about to say this journal, but maybe...just maybe...it's time I give up my nights of getting up at 2:00-3:00 am to party with my mommy and daddy. A girls got to give up her wild ways at some point! I tried it last night and I woke up this morning feeling like a whole new baby!

I've been playing a fun new game I like to call "what's that smell?" Spoiler alert journal, it's my butt. The twist to this fun new game is how much poop I can get out of my diaper and onto my clothes. So far the score is:

Dahlia - 6
Mommy & Daddy - 0

My favorite part of the game is when they put me in my car seat to go for a car ride, I like to spend the entire trip (short or long) focusing on how far up I can get it on my back! Seriously kids, try this at home. Your parents will love it.

I need to sit down and have a serious talk with mommy, she's crossing some personal boundaries. For the past couple days she keeps sticking her finger in my mouth. Whoa lady. First off, she better be washing her hands. Secondly, stop. My mouth hurts and for some reason she thinks it's super cute and exciting. Also journal, while we are on this topic, what the heck is a tooth?

Oh hey journal, please remind me to tell mommy I need to pencil in another play date with my friends Elle & Nat, maybe we can grab a bite to eat. I'd ask them where they want to go but they always pick the same place, boobs & bottles. I mean don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic restaurant but at some point we're going to need to venture out!

Looks like we are about to start another round of 'what's that smell?'. Good thing too because I am ready to hit the crib! Now that my partying days are over, maybe I'll take up a new hobby like 'rolling over' since mommy keeps asking me when I'm going to start. That woman is so needy, seriously, calm down lady. Just let me bask in my awesomeness and let you enjoy it.

Until next time,

Dahlia

Day 92

Dear Journal - Day 92 on earth

One week journal, ONE WEEK and mommy is still gone most of the day. WHAT IS THIS? Day one, fine, I accepted it. I did think it was weird how sad she was about leaving me, but I figured she was just going out to run errands or even better to buy me presents! Then it happened again the next day...and the next day and every day this week! Apparently she has been going to 'work'. What in the crap filled diaper is that? Is 'work' code for having fun without me? Sigh. Journal it's been rough but luckily my auntie has been coming over to hang out with me. She's pretty cool, I enjoy laughing at her and she enjoys taking lots of pictures of me. It's a pretty great arrangement!

I turned 3 months old yesterday, does that make me old enough to start making my own decisions? Hmm, I think yes which is why I decided that 2:30 am is a very appropriate time to wake up and start my day. Mommy and daddy....meh, they don't seem to agree with me. I'm assuming this will be one of many life decisions I make that they do not agree with. I'm only doing them a favor by starting so young. Gives them time to get used it!

Journal, I'm having a really hard time with my hands lately. I have this overwhelming desire to suck my thumb, but I just cannot figure it out! I end up sticking my whole hand in my mouth and it gets so slobbery and wet. I don't mind that though because I just wipe it on daddy or mommy's face. I think they're more grossed out with my daily presents in my diaper than they are with my slobber. I can't blame them though, I'm not sure what they feed me but it sure makes me smell!

Oh it seems to be about that time again, time for mommy and daddy to pamper me and feed me before I take my nightly nap. This will give me about 3-4 hours before it's time for me to get up and start my day! With the holidays coming up though, maybe I'll consider going back to letting them sleep for 7-9 hours for awhile. HA! April fools!

Crap, mommy just advised me that apparently I'm a day late with my joke. Oh well, I still think I'm hilarious.

Until next time,

Dahlia